


Enter: Matesprit

by herecomestroublr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A mention or two of sex, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 07:02:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herecomestroublr/pseuds/herecomestroublr
Summary: Kankri glared at the screen in front of him. Bullshit. Absolutebullshit. How could something so simple take so mind-numbingly long? Were his friends justthatimbecilic?Wait.Yeah, they were, nevermind.





	Enter: Matesprit

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of based off my previous kankri insert. the usernames are taken from the mspaintadventures roleplay wiki. 
> 
> i like the idea that cronus and the reader had some type of falling out before they died, and arent the best of friends anymore, and thats why hes barely mentioned in the first one. 
> 
> i also like to think that the reader, like her dancestor, were not supposed to play the game. it was just dumb luck that they both survived. 
> 
> obviously youre a troll, so just think of however you want to appear as a troll

**\-- chronicGrievances [CG] began trolling chumHandle [CH] at ?? --**

**CG: Have y9u sp9ken t9 Aranea, yet?**   
**CH: Yeah, even if it was one of the most infuriating conversations I’ve had in weeks**   
**CH: But you know**   
**CH: I did it for you**   
**CG: I’m t9uched, truly, [Name].**   
**CG: 6ut what did she say? H9w d9 y9u make it t9 my hive? I haven’t seen y9u in quite s9me time and w9uld very much enj9y a date 9r tw9.**   
**CH: Long story short, we have to wait until the others connect into the game, and then for you to get Mituna in**   
**CH: After that, the others have to find the gates that bring them to their server player’s planets, then I get to ask and head through them until I make it to your place**   
**CG: And appr9ximately, h9w l9ng will this take? I’d like t9 see y9u in this s9lar sweep, if at all p9ssible.**   
**CH: …**   
**CH: ...Awhile**   
**CH: She said a few weeks at most**

Kankri glared at the screen in front of him. Bullshit. Absolute _bullshit_. How could something so simple take so mind-numbingly long? Were his friends just _that_ imbecilic?

Wait.

Yeah, they were, nevermind. 

He sighed. He’d forgotten how stupid they were. Even considering how… interesting his arrival into the game was. Latula had for some reason chucked his load gaper out into the sand dunes, so he had to physically walk out to it to go to the bathroom. It was inconvenient, and thinking about it just pissed him off. 

**CG: Y9u’ve g9t t9 6e shitting me.**

His face slammed onto the desk in front of him. Jegus fucking _christ_ was he irritated. All the wanted to do was see his matesprit! Was that too much to ask? Apparently so, because he couldn’t see her for another few weeks. 

**CH: Are you okay, Kankri?**   
**CG: N9. I am n9t.**   
**CG: I am pissed 9ff at this stupid game and the stupidity 9f 9ur friends. All I’ve been wanting t9 d9 f9r the past m9nth was kiss y9u, h9ld y9u. 6ut n9w I can’t fucking even d9 that.**   
**CH: I really want to see you too, but I guess it can’t be helped**   
**CH: I wasn’t even supposed to be in the game anyways**

Kankri frowned, feeling suddenly sad. It was true. You weren’t even supposed to be there. Your hive had been destroyed by a meteor impact, and you’d taken refuge at Meulin’s hive that was nearby. You were lucky that she’d put off entering the game until that point, or you’d be dead. 

Originally, you’d been ready to play a smaller session with 3 of your other friends, but due to unfortunate circumstances, one of them died and the other two lost their copies of the game. So you’d resigned to dying with your species. What you hadn’t known was the fact that your other group of friends was playing a larger session. So It came as a welcome surprise when you’d entered the game with Meulin and finally had contact with Kankri again in over a week. 

You cried when he replied to your message, and full out sobbed when you called him. You didn’t think you’d be alive for this. Kankri let a red-tinted tear of frustration slip from his eye as he remembered your game circumstances. 

**CH: I’m sorry if I upset you**   
**CH: But it’s true, I wasn’t meant to be here**   
**CH: I’ll leave you to your thoughts now, Kankri**   
**CH: Flushed for you**   
**CG: Flushed f9r y9u, t99.**   
**CH: <3**

**\-- chumHandle [CH] ceased trolling chronicGrievances [CG] at ?? --**

Kankri knew you were smiling.

________

 

“This is ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous!” You exclaimed in frustration, swatting at another huge-ass imp with your highly alchemized insect swatter. 

Cronus sighed loudly and dramatically, shooting at the imp you guys were fighting and propping Ahab’s Crosshairs on his shoulder when it was dead. “Doll, I knovw you’re frustrated, but you’wve gotta clam down.” Meenah laughed in the background after hearing the pun, followed shortly by a ‘Glub yeah!’. 

You had made it through Cronus’s planet and were trekking across Meenah’s to find the gate to Mituna’s. He had decided to help you out, seeing as he was one of your best friends, and would-be moirail if Damara wasn’t already in the quadrant herself. 

“I know! But I’m just so--so--” You made choking motions with your hands, face scrunched up in irritation. “AUUUGHHHH!” You screamed, causing Meenah’s laugh to echo. “I _just_ want to make out with my matesprit! Is that too much to fucking ask?!” 

Cronus pursed his lips and turned away to hide a smile. You were over-reacting, and it was kind of hilarious. He had a feeling he knew why, though. “Babe, [Name],” He paused, laughing as you turned towards him with wild eyes. “Are you, you knovw, _frustrated_?”

Meenah, appearing out of nowhere, placed an elbow on Cronus’s shoulder and balanced her contrapposto stance with her trident. “You horny, gill?”

“YES!” You screamed, causing the two highbloods to burst out in laughter. “It’s _not_ fucking _funny_! It sucks!” You screeched at them, frustrated. 

“It kinda is, doll!” Cronus said as he calmed down. “I didn’t knovw WVantas had it in ‘im!”

Meenah cackled and threw her trident at a smaller imp, killing it instantly. “Super funny!” She added, walking up to the grist hoard and retrieving her trident again. “But in all seriousness, how’d you get Kranki to even _pail_ in the first place?” She asked, beginning to collect the grist. 

You and Cronus joined in collecting grist, captchaloguing your weapons and returning them to your strife decks in the process. “Yeah, doll. Enlighten us.”

You sighed, blushing and rubbing your neck. “It’s ah… kind of a long story…”

“We’ve got time, gill!”

________

**\-- chumHandle [CH] began trolling chronicGrievances [CG] at ?? --**

**CH: Cronus and I made it to Mituna’s planet!**   
**CH: We’re just going to rest up a bit before heading out again**   
**CH: Do you think you can wait a bit more?**

You looked away from your phone, and watched Mituna talking with his own matesprit, who was sitting beside him smiling and laughing with him. Jealousy and sadness washed over you, but was quickly washed away when Cronus gently papped your cheek. 

“You alright, babe? You’re lookin a lil’ dovwn, there!” He sat down beside you, leaning back on his arms with his legs stretched out in front of him. 

“Just tired, I guess.” You sighed. “I really want to see Kankri, but we’ve already traversed two planets looking for the gates--and I did Meulin’s alone! That’s three fucking planets, Cro! _Three_!”

Cronus slung an arm over your shoulder as you pouted, closing your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sorry, doll. I knovw you’re exhausted.” He rubbed your arm, and you sigh. “Just sleep.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but were cut off by a notification from your phone. 

**CG: Y9u 6etter make sure he d9esn’t d9 anything t9 y9u, [Name].**

Right. You’d forgotten Kankri could see everything happening around Mituna. 

**CG: I’ll kill him if he s9 much as l99ks at y9u wr9ng.**   
**CH: Calm down, Kankri**   
**CH: Besides, doesn’t he get Best Friend Immunity ™?**   
**CG: I’ll think a69ut it.**   
**CG: N9.**

You snorted, and Cronus chuckled. He’d been reading over your shoulder.

**CH: Anyway!**   
**CH: Like I said before, we’ll go find the gate once we’re all rested up again**

Before you could type anything else, a pillow and blanket were dropped onto your lap. 

**CG: Take these, and get s9me rest, [Name].**   
**CG: Cr9nus will take care 9f y9u. W9n’t y9u, Cr9nus?**

Cronus gave a thumbs up to the sky, shoulders shaking as he tried not to laugh too hard. 

**CH: Thank you, Kankri**   
**CH: Be safe, and get some rest of your own**   
**CG: I will. N9w sleep.**

**\-- chronicGrievances [CG] ceased trolling chumHandle [CH] at ?? --**

Looking at Cronus, you giggled, before laying the pillow in his lap and getting settled. “You better listen to him, Cronus. He might actually kill you if you don’t.” You pause, and snicker. “With his lectures, that is.”

“Don’t remind me.” Cronus groans.

________

“You found it, babe! High five!” Latula exclaimed, holding out a hand in the air. 

“YEAH! I DID IT!” Mituna cried, smile wide as he practically slammed into Latula while high-fiving her. “THITH ITH THO AWETHOME!” He yelled again, beginning to ramble nonsense. Latula laughed with him, and they continued to celebrate. 

“Sweet jegus fucking christ.” You sighed in relief. “I thought this day would never come!”

Cronus chuckled light-heartedly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I knovw, babe. I knovw.”

You smiled up at him, before marching over to Mituna and Latula, who were still celebrating. “TUNA!” Mituna turned to face you, confusion written all over his face. “Thank you sooooooo much!” You exclaimed in happiness, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him down to your height, giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. 

Latula laughed and patted your back. “He said he would help, so he did!” 

“YOU’RE WELCOME, [NAME]!” Mituna yelled, blushing and grinning. His face suddenly serious next. “WILL I GET TWO THEE YOU AGAIN?” 

You smiled and hugged him. “Of course! I just really need to see my own matesprit. You understand, right?” 

Mituna looked back at Latula, and smiled again. “YEAH! BYE, [NAME]! ILL THEE YOU LATER!” He gave you a thumbs up and walked back to Latula. 

“Let’s head back to your place, babe! We can get something to eat, and rest up a bit. How does that sound, Tuna?” Mituna laughed, spazzing out. “AWTHOME!!!!!!” 

You watched as they walked away, and turned to face the glowing yellow portal situated in a crack in the solid rock of the ground. It cast shadows on the smooth crystal surface, and made it sparkle. “I guess this is it, huh, Cro?” You looked over at him. 

Cronus was leaning against a giant crystal sticking out from the ground. “I guess so, doll.” He stood properly, and walked over to you, slinging an arm around your shoulder. 

“You sure you don’t want to come with me?”

“Nah. You and Kranki need to catch up. I knovw for a fact that he’s pacing in his hiwve right novw, vwaiting for you to come through.” He papped the side of your face, and looked down at you. “‘Sides, I hawve my ovwn quest to take care of.”

“Alright. Good luck! And thanks again, Cronus.” You smirked. “I’d have probably gone insane if you hadn’t helped me out.” 

“VWhat are friends for?” He shot you with double pistols, and got a cigarette from his sylladex. “See ya, doll!” He waved, and started walking away, leaving you alone with the portal. 

“Here goes nothing!” You jumped up, and into the portal, then almost immediately got a mouthful of sand. “BLEGH!” You spit out as much sand as you could, and stood. 

All around you were sand dunes. Dunes for miles, as well as little communities of crab-like creatures. _These must be his consorts…_ you thought, beginning to walk in the direction of the tallest thing around--Kankri’s hive. The point was to build them up, after all. 

A soft breeze flowed through your hair, and you felt at peace. The sky was a lovely shade of blue, and the sand was squishy under your feet as you walked. You began humming, and attracted the attention of some consorts. They chirped to themselves, and a few on them began following you. 

Although the walk was kind of long, it was peaceful. So when you approached Kankri’s hive, you didn’t rush, only retrieved your phone from your sylladex and sent him a message.

**\-- chumHandle [CH] began trolling chronicGrievances [CG] at ?? --**

**CH: I’m here**

It took Kankri all of 60 seconds to bolt out of the hive, and look around for your figure. Only when you saw him, did you get excited and run towards him. 

“[NAME]!” He exclaimed in joy when he saw you, red eyes wide and glistening with tears of happiness. 

“KANKRI!” You grinned and jumped at him when you were within range; wrapping your legs around his hips and grabbing his face with both hands, kissing him vigorously. 

Kankri reciprocated, wrapping one arm underneath your legs to hold you up, and holding the other gently against his cheek. “I missed you so much, [Name].” He whispered after pulling away, face only inches away. 

“I know.” You grinned.

________

“So it vwas pretty interestin’ overall. I’m glad that--” There was a ding, and Cronus paused. “Hold that thought, babe.” He pulled out his phone

Damara fumed silently. How dare he stop in the middle of a story about her moirail? The _nerve_ of this asshole! Why she’d like to--

“It’s from [Name]!” Cronus exclaimed. Damara rushed over to his side and waited for Cronus to click on his trollian app. 

**\-- chumHandle [CH] began trolling casanovasAquaduct [CA] at ?? --**

**CH: So it’s big**   
**CA: ?**   
**CH: Kankri’s dick, I mean**

Cronus started choking, and Damara fell over from laughter.


End file.
